We trap ourselves with our own use of language. This limits our thinking and makes us unable to view situations properly. When talking with a team member about their performance, they will often use one or more of the following language traps. You can help them break free by using the questions suggested below.
- Cause and effect. Sometimes team members will see a result from a cause that may or may not be there. In the mind of the team member, the connection is clear and definitive. Often the effect is a feeling. For example: "When she does that, it makes me feel this." Ask them how this feeling is caused. Often the cause is a much earlier event and the feeling already existed.
- Mind reading. This is one of the most common language traps. They may say something like "Such and such doesn't like me." You can break this language trap by asking how they know this. What evidence is there?
- Making a process into a "thing". Things are harder to change than processes. In teams one of the most common types of this language trap is communication. Team members say things like "The communication in our team is bad!" You need to get them back to thinking of it as a process. How would you like the team to communicate?
- Assumed Value. This is when the team member assumes that there is a right way to do something. They may something like: "This the way to get promoted." According to whom? You need to challenge them to check that they have not assumed something which is not true.
- Assumed Equivalence. This language trap is when two different circumstances are treated as the same. An example is: "He didn't say hello therefore he isn't happy with my work." One event appears as a clue to another. Ask them to explain how one event results in the other to test if there really is a connection.
These language traps can undermine the performance of your team. Listen out for them and use appropriate questions to break them as you hear them.
Your small improvement for today is to listen carefully during a team meeting and identify any of the language traps above and challenge appropriately.
