The premise is simple: people that understand their own values are more focussed on what is important to them and therefore more efficient.
How do you you know your own values?
This can be quite daunting as there are an endless amount of potential values. Here I've broken them down into common themes. Most people's values will fall into one of these:
- Truth - wisdom, authenticity, faith, genuineness, honesty, honor, integrity
- Identity - family, nature, peace, tradition
- Achievement - accountability, challenge, adventure, courage, excellence, success
- Effectiveness - competence, decisiveness, empowerment, efficiency
- Balance - acceptance, fairness, harmony, humility, loyalty, moderation, reflection, stability, tolerance
- Connection - belonging, camaraderie, collaboration, contribution, co-operation, partnership, friendship, involvement, teamwork
- Creativity - curiosity, inspiration, play
- Energy - enthusiasm, excitement, fun, happiness, health, humour, joy, passion
- Kindness - affection, care, compassion, empathy, generosity, love
- Flexibility - freedom, independence, openness, variety
- Learning - knowledge, quality, wisdom, growth
- Status - respect, prestige, responsibility, money, security, recognition, wealth
From the list above, choose 10 values that resonate. Put them in order. Then cut the bottom five. With this short list, choose the three that you feel most capture your values. Evaluate everything you do against these values. Anything that is not consistent with your values should be cut. By living a values-driven life you are more energised and focussed.
What are the weaknesses of this approach?
- You choose values you think you should have. All exercises like this depend on honesty and you may be tempted to select values that you think are more impressive or better than the ones you actually have.
- You don't have strong values and can't narrow the list down. That list of 10 is impossible to shrink as they all equally seem of equal value.
- You have commitments and needs that trump your values. Even if you get to a priority list of 3, assessing your life against them may be pointless. You have bills to pay so you have a job that helps you pay them. The fact that it is not consistent with your values is unfortunate but you need to survive.
- Your values are contradictory. Can you have values of adventure and security at the same time? Not all values fit together neatly.
- Your values are mood-driven. If you do this exercise at the end of a long holiday, would the values be different from doing them at the end of a stressful day?
How can we make small improvements to make this more effective?
- Take the blush test. You should be able to tell everyone who knows you well your values without blushing. If you feel uncomfortable, chances are you are presenting values you feel you should have rather than the real ones.
- Start with your happiest and most energised moments. If you have trouble narrowing down the list, think of a time when you were happiest doing something. Then think of 3 other situations. What values did you demonstrate in these situations? Go back to your list and compare.
- Put your life in bubbles. We all have commitments that may not fit our values. Think about your life and put those aspects that are not consistent with your values but not changeable at the present time into a bubble. The process of doing this will help you be clear what parts of your life are not changeable. Often this is less than you think. Apply your values to everything else and cut or change as necessary to be consistent with your values.
- Shut up your sensible self. Often your values are contradictory when you try to balance them to make you seem more rounded and balanced. If when prioritising your values, you have the sense that you are choosing a value in order to balance the overall picture, stop. Go to points 1 and 2 and make sure you are being honest with yourself.
- Do the exercise 3 times. Repeat the exercise at different times (lunchtime, evening mid-week and on a Sunday) spread out over a couple of weeks. You should get the same results. If not, go to points 1 and 2 and test yourself.
These small improvements should make your values more accurate. The more consistent your life is with your values, the more efficient you will be.
What would you change to better live your values?